[review] you are the world to me- kianjo ♥

Title: you are the world to me :3

Author: kianjo

Story link: click

Review by: ilovemilkycouple

Title: 3/5

The title's interesting, but I don't get why the poster says just smile and the titles 'you are the world to me'. Also you should add a capital in the title.

Poster: 8/10

The posters simple and nice. It's neat and the use of photos were good. But again I don't know why there's another title for the poster. Unless it's a quote, but you should of had the title on there.

Description and Foreword : 6/10

The description was awesome! It really made me want to read the fanfic. But there wasn't really anything about the characters. Maybe you should add in the foreword, something about the characters?

Writing Style: 7/10

It was actually my first time seeing someone write like that. The fonts a bit small but I like the way you write it :) But your chapters are really short, it won't hurt if you try to add in a bit more right?

Plot: 18/20

You have a typical step sister and step mother who's mean to you, and then you meet some guy and fall in love with them. <---- That's usually used in a lot of things. But I still liked it, your one has 4 guys!~ So it'll be harder to choose.

Flow: 9/10

The story flows along great! It isn't too fast or too slow, usually in some fanfics the process is actually really fast.

Grammar and Spelling: 12/15

Hardly any spelling mistakes at all, just a few errors here and there. But sometimes you do it in present tense and then past tense in the same sentence, so then it won't make sense. These are just some mistakes in it.

Error: I set myself down and being doing Hye Ri's homework. I finished no more than thirthy minutes.

Correction: I set myself down and being doing Hye Ri's homework, I finished it in no more than thirty minutes.

Why: Use of words, punctuation and spelling error.

Error: He nodded and I left him come in.

Correction: He nodded and I let him come in.

Why: Spelling error.

Error: He started, puting his hands on my shoulders.

Correction: He started putting his hands on my shoulders.

Why: Spelling error.

Error: I did and repeat what I said in a whisper tone.

Correction: I did and repeated what I said in a whisper tone.

Why: Should be past tense.

Error: "How dare you bumped into Kwangmin oppa?"

Correction: "How dare you bump into Kwangmin oppa?"

Why: Should be present tense.

Error: OMG, did they saw what I did back there? Hye Ri thought.

Correction: OMG, did they see what i did back there? Hye Ri thought.

Why: Once again, should be present tense.

Originality: 7/10

There's actually quite a few similar fanfics to this, mainly because in others there's also like a step mother/sister who's mean to you and there's the father who doesn't really care or notice. And then there's some boy you fall in love with. Besides the story line, I can tell the rest is completely made up by you. Well I know the story line could just be a coincidence but it's still similar.

Ending: -/5

There was no ending so no mark for that and it won't affect your score.

Overall Enjoyment: 4/5

The story was nice! I love it ;) I must subscribe~ It really catches the readers attention. But because the chapters were so short it affected this.

Comments: KYAAA~ YOUNG MIN <3 I really want her to end up with him xD

Total: 79/100

I may seem harsh, but this is actually a really good score :)

Thanks for requesting from me! By ilovemilkycouple