20 Okt 2011

[review] Noona! I like you the best- sarxkyu ♥


Title: Noona! I like you the best
Author: sarxkyu
Story link: click
Review by: ilovemilkycouple


Title: 4/5
The title was very catchy, it just pulls in the readers minds. It makes me automatically smile when I hear it xD

Poster: 8/10
Well the poster was eye-catching and nice, I like the colour of it and the photos used but then again it was a bit plain. There was also a quote in there which was also good, it makes the reader want to know the meaning behind it.

Description and Foreword: 7/10
The description didn't really reveal much about what was going to happen, which was good but you could try adding a bit more, without spoiling the fanfic. The foreword was great! But it didn't really tell you what their personalities were and what their features were. So you wouldn't know if Lee Joon (for example) is actually kind and caring, or he was good looking and smart.

Writing Style: 8/10
Honestly I thought how you wrote and described everything was funny, it actually felt like a movie was playing in my head ;P Your writing style is quite common but it's easy to follow, I honestly thought there was a lot to get through, maybe you shouldn't leave spaces while typing it, it makes it look too long. Although that's what i just thought, because it might look too cramped up if you don't leave spaces but maybe give that a try.

Plot: 17/20
I liked the plot, it made me want to read more. The fact that MBLAQ's Lee Joon rejects her? It's like a must find out, sort of thing ;P And then there's another guy, she might not know which one to choose. In a lot of situations like this they'd choose Gi Kwang, honestly I really don't know who she's going to end up with but it seems a bit obvious.

Flow: 8/10
Your story has a nice pace to it, it didn't happen to fast or too slow.

Grammar and Spelling: 10/15
There was quite a few mistakes but they weren't really big ones, although at the start of your sentences you should always have capitals, same with the name of countries, names ect. Also be careful on how you make your sentences. Sorry >.< I know english isn't your first language.

(Some errors)
Error: OHKAYYY. akward. There was silence until Doojoon oppa broke the silence.
Correction: OHKAYY, awkward.. There was silence until Doojoon oppa spoke.
Why: Well first of all you spelt awkward wrong, and the second sentence sounded a bit weird. You could keep it that way but I prefer it my way.

Error: He widened his eyes and stares  at me. akwardly.
Correction: He widened his eyes and stared at me awkwardly.
Why: The 'stares' should be in past tense, and you spelt awkwardly wrong.

Error: I sat down on the chair opposite unnie and next to min. " unnie. He rejected me " I said and burst into tears again and burried my head on Min's shoulders.
Correction: I sat down on the chair opposite of unnie's and next to Min. "Unnie, he rejected me" I said and burst into tears again and buried my head onto Min's shoulders.
Why: Capitalization error, Spelling error and use of words.

Error:" okay. Thanks unnie . Im here now " I told Gyuri unnie through the fine
Correction: "Okay, thanks unnie! I'm here now" I told Gyuri unnie through the phone.
Why: Capitalization error and spelling error.

Originality: 8/10
It's original and exciting at the same time ;D I can tell you made this up, without copying any ideas from anyone else. There are a few stories that have similar story lines but yours is unique!

Ending: -/5
There was no ending so no mark for that and it won't affect your score.

Overall Enjoyment: 4/5
The story was great! Your own ideas too! But I wasn't really into this sort of fanfic anymore, basically I'm saying I've seen it too many times. You can say the same about mine too, I think the same about my fanfics too~

Comments: HAHAHA I totally love the second chapter so funny ;P But why is the ahjumma so mean to Ji Eun :( And omg in chapter three, I would LOVE to see Ki kwang's abs ;) kyaa~ i'm such a fangirl ;P

Total: 79/100 (It would of been 74/95, because there's no ending but i decided to mark it this way :D)

Reviewed by ilovemilkycouple
Thanks for requesting from me I hope you like it :) Sorry if I seem too harsh, but I really did enjoy your story :)

Tiada ulasan:

Catat Ulasan