[review] the story of a diamond- elisha960809 ♥

Title: The story of a diamond

Author: elisha960809

Story link: click

Review by: ilovemilkycouple

Title: 3/5

The Story Of Diamond, it didn't really catch my attention, but this sort of title is different from other ones I've heard. It's quite plain but it's still good.

Poster: -/10

There is no poster, but there are some pictures. But I still won't add it in. Like always this will not affect you score so relax :)

Description and Foreword: 3/10

You only wrote like one sentence in the Description part, and you only wrote this is a '~~~~~~~' fanfic thing. So maybe you should add in, your characters personalities? Etc. Like how you see it in other fanfics. Maybe you should see other peoples and get an idea? Because the description and foreword will most likely grab your readers attention.

Writing Style: 9/10

You wrote it like how you did with Letters to hell~ Which is good! Because it's easy to understand :P This time you went for a more rated story? Well I'm not a rated reviewer but I still decided to accept this..

Plot: 17/20

The plot was interesting, I know how sisters can get annoying. But I didn't expect Jessica to call Krystal B***h. ;O I never knew Yuri would be the gangster type either xP And I was really shocked that Krystal and Jessica's parents are on Jessica's side..

Flow: 7/10

Well I guess it's not that fast, but as a reader I think they're falling in love with each other way too fast. I mean Krystal fell in love with him at the start but now it seems like Minho likes her already and it's like only the 4th chapter.

Grammar and Spelling: 13/15

Barely anything, just need to fix a few parts and your done! :D

Error: Should I wear a lower heel so I wouldn't trip?

Correction: Should I wear a lower heel so I won't trip?

Why: Wrong Tense

Error: "Krystal, do you want punishment? If not, be quiet and get ready for dinner." Dad firmly said.

Correction: "Krystal, do you want a punishment? If not, be quiet and get ready for dinner." Dad firmly said.

Why: Sentence doesn't make sense.

Error: "WHy?? Why can't you tell me?" I whined.

Correction: "Why?? Why can't you tell me?" I whined.

Why: Misuse of capital letters.

Error: ANd it was kind of funny that Krystal is the one who confessed to me her feelings first ever in my life!

Correction: And it was kind of funny that Krystal is the one who confessed to me, it was the first time ever in my life!

Why: Your sentence didn't make sense and misuse of capital. (Not sure if you meant it like that but yeah..)

Error: "She comes every three times a year. Why are you so happy about that? We see her plenty already!"

Correction: "She comes three times every year. Why are you so happy about that? We see her plenty already!"

Why: Sentence doesn't make sense.

Originality: 8/10

Some fanfics are similar to this, but then again it wasn't copied or anything. Just thought some parts were similar but don't worry! Continue writing ;) It's not like no body has 0 similar parts.

Ending: -/5

There was no ending so no mark for that and it won't affect your score.

Overall Enjoyment: 4/5

Yes, I liked it :) I got absorbed into it as I read more and more and then when I reached the end of chapter 4 I was like naww ;( No more.. well for now :P

Comments:

Sorry if I seem harsh, but by doing this you'll learn from your mistakes :) And please use this in your fanfic!! Thank you for requesting from me~

Total: 79/100

Reviewed by ilovemilkycouple

Thanks for requesting!